* ALL vacuums can pick up a bowling ball.
If you use the right sized funnel to seal on the ball, you can probably pick one up with your mouth! Sealed suction cups are how heavy panes of glass are carried (with no motor whatsoever!). So, anyone bragging about this "bowling ball" trick are playing on our ability to be dazzled by marketing ploys. P.S.: This is also a company that has much to hide, as their products can't sell on their own merits, so diversionary tactics are used.

* NO vacuum cleaner ever loses suction.
But a lot of them DO lose airflow, which is what moves the dirt from your carpet to the dirt receptacle. When filters get coated & saturated with fine dust, the vacuum WILL clog, no matter what some blokes might tell you. Bagless ones are the worst for this (especially if you don't clean the filters after EACH USE as the instructions tell you), as we un-clog hundreds of them a year - even Dysons (they sure do look cool, though).

* The worst DIRT BLOWERS are "HEPA" vacs with big, thick filters.
Sound backwards? It's not if you think about it. As your thick, space-aged HEPA filter gets coated (& clogged), your motor tries with increasing pressure to do it's job (which is push air through the vacuum). It eventually either pushes the dirt through the filter, or (more commonly) the dirt will find an easier way out where two un-sealed housings join. Being "HEPA" used to mean something, but the rules for the term's use have changed recently. Apparently, a vacuum only has to be "HEPA" when it's brand new, with brand new filters, etc. Most vacuums will be HEPA when their new - you need to know which ones will be HEPA in 4 months, because your family will still want to breathe clean air 4 months later, I'm sure (especially the ones with asthma).
 

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* CARPET POWDER CAN KILL ...a vacuum cleaner.
Old-time vacuums could handle carpet powder much better than most new ones. When carpet powder gets in the pores of your filters or bag, it cuts off airflow, which makes the motor run hot as it tries to get air. Heat + plastic equals a melted vacuum, and/or a burned up motor. If the vacuum is bagless, the problem is much more pronounced, as you keep the same filters in for a long time, & changing them more frequently is cost-prohibitive.
 

* Over 1/2 of all discarded vacuums could've been fixed for under 10 dollars.
Vacuum cleaners have belts. Most belts are rubber. Rubber wears out & breaks (or worse yet, they slip, so when a good-intentioned consumer checks it, it's not broke, so "it must be fine". When a stretched belt is put on the floor, the carpet stops or slows the brush, & you say to yourself, "there's no suction!" A belt is a couple dollars + a couple dollars labor + a couple minutes of your time, so do it at least once per year (twice a year is better). We sell a lot of belts to guys that find vacs in the garbage - a belt was all they needed!

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* Lightweight does NOT mean easy to push.
It can, but it depends on the carpet (& the vacuum). Some 8 lb uprights (that are closer to 9 1/4 lb if you actually weighed them) have no front wheels & just float ("self-adjusting"), so on thick shag, the front-end gets buried somewhat in the thick nap, whereas a 4-wheel adjustable vacuum ( twice as heavy, even), can be "backed off" the carpet allowing the user to push it easily. If your main concern is carrying it up & down stairs, then focus on weight. But you WILL sacrifice power, as "lightweight" means smaller motor. We sell one that out-performs the more heavily-hyped one, but it'll just be a vacuum sale - no clothes irons, dog & pony shows, or deceptive advertising.

* LIGHTWEIGHT OR BIG MOTOR - YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH.
This may be fine for your situation, but it has been proposed that you can have both, and on this planet, you can't. And for $400 plus, one should make sure that weight is the primary consideration, not cleaning power. Some have bigger motor fans than others, etc., but the "leading" 8 lb upright (9+ actual lbs), has a 4 amp motor with a motor fan (the thing that moves air & dirt) slightly larger than a silver dollar. While the brush is certainly scraping dirt off the surface, you're not flushing air through the nap, and thus leaving dirt down deep. And if you have pets that shed, this arrangement often can't push the clumps of hair up the tube ( about 1" diameter) & into the bag. In fact, they have a sticker telling you how to un-clog it. If it were my company, I'd fire my sticker designer & hire another mechanical engineer to fix this design flaw!

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* WATER IS A BAD FILTER FOR DUST!
A lot of door-to-door water filtration vacuums have been sold over the years on the premise that all dirt picked up will be trapped in the water - that has to be right, right? WRONG!
But how can dirt get out of water? Well, if the dirt is non-wettable or semi-wettable, it won't readily dissolve in water, and since that was the only "filter" those vacs had, these finer particles would either blow out into your house or, since it was damp, get stuck in or around the vacuum motor. (Some dirt does stay in the water, though, and since you see it right away, you're very impressed). Ironically, if you have sinus or lung problems, this is the very dirt that is most irritating to you. Examples of these particles include : Ash, soot, smoke (smoke is a particle, & almost ALL of it goes right through water - just ask your local bong or hookah salesman), instant cocoa mix ( you ever battle with trying to get that stuff to dissolve readily in your cup? It's semi-wettable!), POLLEN, ...
P.S. : For years these vac manufacturers have stood by there convictions about water's filtering abilities, but their new water filtration machines have a SECOND, NON-WATER filter to catch what gets through the water. So, what does that tell you?

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* DON'T EVER BUY A VACUUM WITHOUT SEEING (AND PREFERABLY, TRYING) IT FIRST.
I know it's hard to resist buying things on the internet or infomercials - it's just so easy. They all look pretty good online, but there's no way to know how well they work or hold up, let alone if they'll do the things you want them to do. When you find out the hard way that the thing is no good, it's a hassle to send it back (you have to dis-assemble it to get it back in the box, etc.) but there's really no human accountability on the seller's part. They really don't care that you're dissatisfied. We do, and we'd rather avoid you returning ( in person! ) with problems and dissatisfaction, so we let you see & try product, and ask you the questions that you should answer before you can make a good decision. We fix a couple thousand vacuums per year, so we get a pretty good read on the repair histories of the various machines out there, and try to provide the best vacuum available in a given price-point.
P.S. : Some of the better vacuums cannot be sold on-line anyway, or the MAP (Minimum Advertised Pricing) allowable by the manufacturer is much higher than what it may sell for in-house. So what's left to peruse on the web is never all that there is, & many retailer & e-tailers are mostly offering medium-to-lower-quality machines.
So, in the words of our founder (back in 1939), Harold Henry : SEE, TRY, COMPARE!

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* MORE EXPENSIVE = BETTER VACUUM...NOT!
All the vacuums sold door-to-door are over $1000 (some over $2000!), and not only are they not the best, but some are close to the WORST!
Also, some of these new bagless vacuums are around $500, and a customer would clean better & get more life out of a $170 vac. This is not to say that good vacuums will always be cheap either; the point is that you don't always get what you pay for, and depending on your needs, you don't always need to pay a lot.
Observe 2 similarly designed vacuums:

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* "CONSUMER REPORTS" OFTEN GETS IT WRONG.
First of all, they don't test every vacuum, so how can they tell you which one is best? ROYAL, the only all-metal vacuum still made, has almost never been rated ( maybe Royal doesn't "play nice", if you know what I mean ). Second, they run a vacuum for a couple minutes and write about it. This tells you nothing about durability ( all brand new vacuums will last for 5 minutes in a laboratory setting; what about when the kids beat on it for 3 months?). It also produces faulty dust emission ratings, as a brand new filter will usually contain dust for the few minutes of run time. After 3 months when the "HEPA" filters have had dirt coating them & air pushing the dirt through, it's a different story. Also, I've never heard of them using long hair as their "test dirt", and hair is the number 1 killer of plastic vacuum parts.
In summary, nobody is an expert on everything, and judging from the vacuums that they have rated as "excellent" (when they were actually borderline junk) over the years I would question their methods - politics? random guessing? They might do a great job rating everything else, but with vacuums - take it with a grain of salt.

* HEPA is not HEPA Anymore
This term for dust control ( High Efficiency Particulate Arrestance) used to only be used for machines that could reliably recover asbestos, lead, etc., without contaminating the user or his surroundings, and it was usually a $400 to $500 option (mostly only available on commercial wet/dry vacs). If it said it was HEPA, it was, mainly because if it wasn't, the legal liability would be huge when someone got lead poisoning from your vacuum's false claims of emission control. Apparently now the rules concerning the use of this term have been relaxed ( a lot!), because some of dirt-blowingest vacuums on the market claim to be "HEPA". Technically, they probably are HEPA for a couple of days - when all the filters are brand new. After a few weeks or months, though, many of them ( especially bagless ones ) are the worst for dust emissions. Ironically, probably the best vacuum for dust control has really distanced themselves from using the term "HEPA" (probably to avoid the aforementioned lawsuit thing). Come in & see which one it is.

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* REPAIR HISTORY = SELLABILITY ( FOR US, ANYWAY)
In 2005, we repaired over 8,000 vacuums and carpet extractors at our 3 stores!!! That has been our typical annual average (although I don't have the energy to quantify 60+ years of sales data). While we like voluminous customer traffic, we'd prefer those patrons to be happy, not irate because WE sold them a bad vacuum!
When you buy a vacuum from a place that doesn't repair them, the machines they stock are NOT stocked based on how well they last, and since those stores now send you to a warranty station ( hey, that's us!) instead of refunding your money, they really don't have to take responsibility for the quality of the product. We DO take that responsibility for what we sell you. If price is your sole consideration, you can buy very low-priced vacuums here, but you'll always be told honestly what to expect from said purchase.

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* DOING OTHER PEOPLE'S GRUNT-WORK NEXT TO NOTHING - WE MUST BE NUMB-SKULLS!
We are the WARRANTY SERVICE CENTER for : Hoover, Eureka (Electrolux), Royal, Riccar, Dirt Devil, and probably some that I'm forgetting. You might think that having to repair hundreds of Walmart-calibur vacuums for free even though we didn't sell them would be irritating to us, but...
1) We get to learn what's out there & what the common problems with it are. ( Sometimes we get warranty repairs on vacuums that are so new that we never knew they existed yet - THAT'S a bad omen!) That's how we stay informed about things that we don't sell.
2) When the customer expresses dismay/disbelief with the quality of their purchase, we can tell them what we know about their purchase, compare it with their household situation, etc., & advise them on whether they can expect on-going problems. Of course, there are always better vacuums within eye-shot, if a customer is so inclined to look. It's actually the perfect time to directly compare features between the "prone to break" machines & the "prone to last" ones.
3) It's good PR. Although we can't throw cash around like Bill Gates, we take pride in helping people in our community the best way we can - with good service. I believe doing "free" warranty repairs and giving free estimates has been the best advertising we have ever done. Chances are good that "getting done right" by us will come up in some future conversation with friends or family, thereby drumming us up another patron.

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* "FREE" CAN BE BAD
We had a customer that bought a vacuum at a warehouse-type mega-store, and they have ( or had ) a policy of lifetime replacement on anything you bought there when it broke, even if it was due to abuse, etc. After the 3rd "free" vacuum replacement, she dragged the broken thing in to us to look at under the manufacturer's warranty. Well, since most discount-store-grade vacuums have plastic brush rolls, they usually melt at the ends unless you are extra vigilant in your maintenance, and most manufacturers don't cover that, so I couldn't help her ( not for "free", anyway).
I suggested that she consider something more suited to her situation, i.e., something that couldn't be bought at the discount store. Her reply was : "But theirs are 'free' for life!"
So I got philosophical, & said : " YES, BUT 'FREE' JUNK IS STILL JUNK."
I asked her how much time has she spent running around getting the "free" replacement vacs ( packing up a van-load of kids each time), how clean her many hundreds of dollars worth of carpet is staying with the half-functioning vacuums, how long said carpet will last, how clean her air is with the dirty carpet & a dirt-blowing vacuum, how clean she thought her kid's lungs were staying in said household...
Maybe I'm crazy, but NOTHING is more valuable to me than my time! Just the time this woman wasted on her "free" vacuum replacement alone ( so THAT's why he kept putting those quotation marks around the word "free!") is very sad to me.
You only get so much time on this Earth, so how people value their time so little is beyond me. And in this case, the "free" vacuum actually costs more in time, gasoline, carpet, asthma meds, nerve-endings - hers AND ours as shoppers ( I'm sure those kids are losing patience with their semi-annual trip to replace the vacuum, & whine accordingly) than if she bought a good vacuum in the first place! Spending money is cheaper than "free"? Just another of life's paradoxes...

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* "TOP OF THE LINE" MIGHT BE "WORST OF THE WORST"
Companies spend millions on research & development to build a new product. As such, they must aggressively market it as their newest, best model to recoup their money, EVEN IF IT'S JUNK! This phenomenon seems to be happening with most vacuum companies as they increasingly ask marketing guys to design the stuff, seemingly with little input from anyone who knows how vacuums work or what typical use a vacuum must endure. What's worse, some manufacturers throw all their eggs into 1 basket, phasing out the "good old" stuff that made them the millions of dollars in the1st place. Then they get all surprised ( sometimes even belligerent) when we say we won't sell it! And finally, the big box stores' role in all of this. Since they only want the newest model of everything they, by definition, end up with only the newest, crappiest stuff, foregoing the "old" (better) stuff due to space limitations.

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* MORE "CONSUMER REPORTS" PROBLEMS
Since they began rating the repair history of vacuums ( & seemingly rating them almost completely opposite of what we have observed), I've always wondered how they got their data for this. As I said before, we have done thousands of repairs every year for over 50 years, in the 3rd largest metropolitan area in the U.S.A., and we've NEVER been asked about it, nor has any other service center that we communicate with been asked. So who DO they ask?
I have learned from a Consumer Reports aficionado that they ask their subscribers - the same people that throw vacuums away because they need a $2.00 wear item (like a belt - see my prior rant). So if you do this & they ask how it lasted, you'll say " not too long", which is really bad science. If the average consumer were experts, then I wouldn't fix 8,000 vacuums per year, because they'd be fixing their own! Not to beat a dead horse, but a little bar graph stating how many repair "instances" a brand had with zero information about how many of said machines are in service just adds to the
invalidity.

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* CONSUMER REPORTS and TOYOTA
Maybe this will be the last flaw I'll point out regarding Consumer Reports magazine. If you still blindly use this thing as gospel, well, their marketing department has done their job. But this is topical ( to the year 2010 ), and it confirms my suspicions that their misguided approach to vacuums ratings applies to other products. Case in point - Toyota cars. They are perennially rated as number 1 in this magazine for quality, performance, etc. All of a sudden, Toyota has a massive recall that the company was pressured into enacting for sticking accelerators after many fatal accidents that were possibly linked to this problem. And then, "all-of-a-sudden", Consumer Reports dropped them from their "Best Buy" designation. BUT WAIT A MINUTE! What about all the extensive testing, research and analysis that went into making this ( and all of their other ) decisions to call something "good?" And then their decision to reverse this ranking came after Toyota's debacle was all over the 10 o'clock news for a month? It is obvious ( for the 10th time ) that whatever testing methods they use ( if any ) are hap-hazard at best, and maybe, like the rest of the publishing world, there is a more sinister ( and believable ) way for a magazine to sustain itself and for products to get the good rating. In closing, I have some advise for the Consumer Reports research department - start watching the 6 o'clock news - then you'll have your data 4 hours sooner than I did.

* ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT SCAMS
The latest marketing scam-of-the-month some vacuum companies ( think over-priced and lightweight) are using is Ultraviolet light on the underside of the nozzle to "kill" germs as you vacuum. There are many problems with this:

1. If the vacuum is only 4 or 5 amps total - motor, headlight AND ultraviolet generator, I doubt that their ultraviolet generator would give an Amoeba a suntan, much less kill it.
2. At the speed that the average vacuumer moves ( i.e., FAST), the effects would be negligible even if the ultraviolet WAS powerful.
3. Like dust mites, kill 'em all you want - on and under carpet, but give them an hour and they'll be back unless you somehow get your humidity levels in your house way down. In summary, get a vacuum with more than a toy motor in it so that your carpet is clean and the germs won't want to live there any more.
4. This just in ( 6-12-11): It has been found that Oreck's (makers of Halo vacuums) claims regarding the germ-killing effectiveness of the ultra-violet lights on the bottom of their vacs is a load of B.S., just as I theorized. They have settled the complaint with the Federal Trade Commission by paying a $750,000 fine.
   Apparently while the FTC does not have the energy to prosecute general false advertising, which is rampant & costly to the public, they draw the line at making false medical claims ( so we won't die from bad products, we'll just get ripped off - we'll still have our health, though!)There's big money in duping the public, so public - don't blindly believe what you hear.
   

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* VACUUM PRODUCT PLACEMENT ON TV
One must be aware that we are constantly barraged with subliminal sales pitches around every turn. For instance: on these home renovation shows I keep seeing a Dyson vacuum cleaner sitting in the corner of the room, subtly being shown on camera - in a room that doesn't have any carpet in it. No home renovators would bring a Dyson to a job site, & no home-owner in there right mind would buy a Dyson to clean hard floors. So, just like when a movie star chugs down a Pepsi in a movie on camera, apparently vacuum companies do it too.

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* Now Your Vac Can Have A Ball!
When you employ marketing wizards, your company can invent a problem that doesn't exist, then "solve" it for you. For example : that vacuum cleaners are hard to steer. They're not, nor have they ever been! Think about it - you've NEVER complained about your ability to turn your vacuum. "Hey Bob, this Hoover needs a front-end alignment or something - I can't go left with it!" In fact, if you have a thumb & 1 finger, you can turn your vacuum any way you'd like. The "solution" to this "problem" - a ball-like swivel deal that actually puts all the weight of the vacuum not only in your hand, but when you pivot it, all the weight ( at least 15 lbs) is pitching & rolling in your wrist. Good luck getting rid of that carpal-tunnel syndrome with one of these vacs! To me, using one of these vacs is a little like wrestling a salmon. A traditional, older-style upright leaves you with almost no weight in your hand & steers effortlessly. They never bragged about it because it was a non-issue. Aside from the obvious ( if you ever look at one) quality issues, this is an unnecessary tangent in vacuum design that many consumers blindly believe is better because the company trying to sell them said so.

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